Difficulties as a couple where only one person is ready to seek professional help…
Do not hesitate to take a first step by seeking professional help alone. Addressing difficulties as a couple alone provides you with the opportunity to work on your own needs. By doing so, you will be in a better position to understand your own reactions and thereby reduce the number of situations which lead to tensions in your relationship. This will inevitably change the way you react and, in my experience, often encourages the other partner to take steps to change also.
We each have a unique perspective on the world, our personal “world map”, made up of our personal history, our family background, our culture, religion… and so many other things which make us the unique person we are. The more we become aware of this “world map”, the more we realise that other people will not look at things exactly the same way as we do. With this awareness, the conflicts in our relationships, if they are managed respectfully, can become opportunities to learn to better know ourselves and our partner.
Personal counselling is also an opportunity to update the “system” whereby each of the partners in a couple has a specific place and roles. This “system” is established at the outset of a relationship and gives it meaning. However, at some point the established roles and places may no longer satisfy one of the partners and it is then necessary to become aware of how the “system” within the relationship is operating and seek to establish a new basis in which both partners feel respected and can grow.
Note that, when one partner in a couple starts working on their personal growth, this may lead the other partner to wish to do the same, alone or as a couple. In these situations, I can direct you towards a colleague who can address these new demands, as I will only ever work with one individual or a couple, but never the two in parallel.
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